As we jaunt into July…

This is a general collective reading of the energy of June. Below is my own interpretation of the cards that appeared before me.

As always take what resonates, and trash the rest!

July wants to know what you did with all that demolition.

Because June handed you rocks to kick and then, more unsettlingly, handed you nothing at all. Left you to your own devices. Just a long hallway and the sound of your own footsteps. Some of you used it. Some of you filled the silence with something louder, which is a very human, very forgivable thing to do. Either way, July is the month where the hallway ends. There is a door at the end of it. This reading feels like a laying on soft grass on a warm day, while a creek nearby gurgles and burps.

The Nine of Pentacles, upright, sits behind us. This is the part of the story where you stopped waiting for permission and started tending your own orchard. Damn, I’m proud of you! It looked like independence. It may have felt, some days, like exile. Solitude, as it turns out, is not the same as loneliness, though the two rent the same apartment and borrow each other’s clothes.

The King of Swords, upright, is where we currently stand, and he does not care for a slow open. He sits with his blade straight up, already decided. This is not a man interested in your feelings about the truth. He is interested in THE truth.

This is the month of the clean sentence. The separation you’ve been passing back and forth between your palms for weeks. The breakup you’ve all but spoken out loud, planned in your head. The discernment you’ve cultivated but have yet to let vibrate from your throat. The job that no longer serves you, the way of living that no longer speaks life into you.

Say the thing once, correctly, and put the sword down. He is not asking you to be cold. He is asking you to be exact, which is a kindness people mistake for its opposite because exactness, unlike vagueness, cannot later be blamed on being misunderstood.

Sallie Nichols reads the court cards as psyche’s own functionaries, and the King of Swords, fully realized, is what Jung called the mature Logos, the discerning function doing its actual job, which is to separate what’s true from what’s merely comfortable. Soul-centered healing has a blunter way of putting it: the wound doesn’t close until it’s been named correctly. You can’t soul-retrieve a part of yourself you’re still describing vaguely. The sword is precision required before any real tending can begin.

Love Island Season 8 Queen (of swords)

The Two of Cups, upright, waits for us in the future, and after a garden built alone and a season spent sharpening tongue into something usable, this is the card that says, now hand it to someone. Two matching cups, offered at the same height, neither person higher than the other. A recognition.

This does not have to be romantic, although it certainly can be. It might be the colleague who finally reads the report instead of skimming it. It might be the friend who calls back. It might, God help us, be yourself, meeting yourself, after a year of introductions that didn’t take.

The sacred marriage, the meeting of opposites that had, until that point, only existed separately inside a person. Every external union worth having is, underneath, a rehearsal of an internal one: the discerning King finally on speaking terms with the part of you that just wants to be handed a cup and trusted. That just wants some spring water after dry heat.

Nichols writes about this same reconciliation, the moment the psyche stops treating its own opposing qualities like rival departments and starts treating them like community. That reconciliation tends to show up first as a feeling, of cups runneth over.

The overarching theme of the entire spread, of the month ahead: Strength.

Everyone has had the experience of being swallowed whole by an affect. We know how suddenly an emotion can grip us, sudden as being chased down a back alley by a woman wielding a heroin needle, jabbing, scarring (a true dream, incidentally, not a metaphor I reached for). We shake in fear. We drop tears onto our cheeks without deciding to. We go blind with rage. The ego, in these moments, is helpless. It tries to run. And here is the part that should worry you more than the alley did: whenever we turn our backs on this animal part of ourselves, it doesn’t suddenly decide to move on to other pastures. It gets louder. More insistent. More anchored into the architecture of who we are. Ignore its demands long enough and it finds another way to speak, usually through the body (see also: psychosomatic illness), since the body rarely lets us get away with repressing a damn thing.

Not the lion tamed by force. The lion whose mouth is closed, or held open, by a woman who is not afraid of it, whose hands are steady enough that the lion allows it, senses correctly that this is not a diminishment but a partnership. The infinity symbol floats over her head without end. She is not fighting her nature, she has simply stopped letting it drive. Leo’s strength, like the lion’s, is ambivalent. It can be life-giving in the same breath it could be destructive, which is precisely why it can’t be caged and can’t be ignored. Instinctual energy has to be met.

One way that we can make contact with this animal self is through our dreams. Perhaps this is the month you finally crack open your dream journal!

Speaking of dreams, Jung would call the lion your shadow, that disowned animal-self exiled somewhere around childhood for being too much, too loud, too hungry for the room it was born into. The mistake most of us make is thinking the goal is to finally kill it. The goal, per both Jung and every soul-centered healing tradition before and since, is integration, welcoming the exiled part back into the home rather than leaving it to run feral in the woods behind the house, showing up uninvited at the Fourth of July as a panic attack.

Not everyone integrates the lion this month. Some people just feed it and call it acceptance.

That’s the month ahead. Soul retrieval is going back for the part of you that got left behind, and not apologizing for how it looks when it finally comes home. Strength isn’t wielded against the ego’s appetites, it’s lived alongside them, embodiment and discernment, not rule.

my girl, Artemis


Numerology of the month: 18

Keywords: life doubled back on itself, integration made permanent, the number that refuses to reduce, union plus completion, the shadow welcomed rather than exiled, embodiment.

In Hebrew numerology, chai, life, is spelled chet and yod, which carry the values 8 and 10. Add them and you get 18, a number so associated with vitality that it shows up on wedding invitations and charitable checks alike, in multiples, because who wants to give someone only one life when you can give them double. Why one cup when you can have two?!

This month’s number 18 is a number of luck, fortune, and love, and also…bondage. This number is also associated with the moon.

Egyptian numerology reads 18 specifically as the number of people who got their wisdom the hard way, through betrayal, disillusionment, the kind of significant challenge that doesn’t leave a person gentler so much as it leaves them precise. Not wisdom handed down at a comfortable pace, over tea, but wisdom forged under pressure and kept, afterward, like a scar you stopped hiding. Nobody arrives at that kind of clean, unflinching sight by accident. They arrive at it because something already tried to fool them once, and they were paying close enough attention not to let it happen twice. OK, maybe some of us need to let it happen five or six times…

In the I-Ching, Hexagram 18, Gu, Decay, Work on what has been spoiled, describes what happens after neglect has done its damage, a vase of flowers left too long with something rotting in it. Like human affairs, lax attitudes create problems, which accumulate and introduce corruption into the community.

Gu advises us to look for such defects in ourselves and in our environment and to take steps to repair the damage at the root so it does not recur. Old bad habits, character defects, poor planning; left untreated they cycle, and each cycle costs more than the last. The only thing that actually breaks the pattern is the King’s precision.

A clean, specific diagnosis of what’s actually spoiled, followed by the will to cut it out at the source.


In a world that moves quickly, choosing to pause, to reflect, to go internally, is no small thing. Whether you read every word slowly or skim what calls to you, I’m grateful you are here.

A Few Questions to Sit With

For those beholden of pen, the journalers…some questions to help guide you into the month.

  • Where have I been softening a truth to spare a feeling that didn’t actually need sparing?
  • What sentence have I been rehearsing instead of saying?
  • Who or what deserves the Two of Cups from me, the plain, unguarded offer, held at equal height?
  • What have I been calling weakness that was actually restraint?
  • Where in my life is severity and mercy finally sitting at the same table?
  • What part of myself did I exile years ago that’s still waiting in the hallway to be let back in?
  • What did June’s demolition clear that I haven’t yet built on?
  • Where has my ego mistaken speed for discernment lately, saying yes or no before actually looking?
  • What decision have I been outsourcing to someone else’s opinion because I didn’t trust my own sight?
  • Where is my ego still narrating the story instead of just living it?
  • What have I judged harshly in someone else that I haven’t yet looked at in myself?
  • If I trusted my own discernment completely for one day, what would I stop tolerating?


“See” you next month!

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